Hello To All That

“Hands Up”

Neat and tidy never tells a sorry we don’t regret, Baby.

I’d like to be messy. Do you think you can do that?

These are the things that we meant to do and never did. Let’s make a fucking beautiful mess. We’ll start with your mistakes and move on to my secrets and things will really get interesting when I begin to tell you about the boy who was not you, the boy who broke my heart and then held it close and pressed it into my hollow crater skin a second time.

I’m indented with the face of a boy who is so so far from being you. You see, you were sweet, you were, “Oh this is heart, hello heart nice to meet you may I please take a seat.” And he? He was far from such pleasantries. He was, “Hands up or somebody gets hurt, is this a heart because to me it just looks like an empty open floor where I can lose my mind and unload my unhappiness.” I am still hurting from the weight of those boxes. Nothing was marked “FRAGILE” and yet he had me walking with the lightest footsteps, just in case. Just in case. Just in case he returned. Just in case he asked for it all back.

Boy, sweet sweet boy how I wish I could’ve loved you.

You were so much more beautiful than the body that followed.